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Buh​-​Bye

by Lonely Deer

/
1.
Like Bombs 04:05
Your footsteps are like bombs In the pockets of them all You bat your eyes, they all die You bat your eyes, they die They die.... Birds are chirping for the future And moaning for the past Another bad egg out there, having a blast A blast.... There’s no secrets to unlock There’s no equalization reform We said it in our platform— We’re the party of promise We stand for promise—nothing more So I hit up a few dozen beer gardens And I wrote a very bad poem: Tears get caught in your beard And grow their own worlds Grow their own furies and fears Oh, there’s nothing special about any of this Nothing happened that wasn’t culled from some list So you fell off your stride—no shit So you fell off your ride—no shit
2.
Foxtrot 6, 1973. Foxtrot 6, 1973. Coming up over the hill. Aw, hell. For 110 million years, I have been so still. Nothing beaten on rocks, no food, no screams, no lumbering prance through the trees. Just the moans of the tectonic plates shifting terrifyingly, powerfully, by this planet that’s caught me in its fucking net, that’s crowned me The Patron Saint of Nothingness. Then after the years, the miner busts through the wall and shows me that praise means nothing at all, and talent means even less, and stillness... Stillness, my dear, just leads to emptiness. Foxtrot 6, 1973. Foxtrot 6, 1973. Coming up over the hill. Aw, hell.
3.
There’s a genius in you, Teddy Bear. Your rubies lips, your lemon hair. Your button eyes that I've excised with scissors from your tiny face. I kept them in a cluttered drawer by my cigarettes and paste. There’s a mystery in your wrap of fur, the haunted past, the beast’s allure. You looked so warm, you looked so proud, acting like you’re royalty. I saw you trip upon the stair and cry about your wounded knee. Like you only have so much skin, you cried about your wounded knee. There is fingers in everything. You cannot deny... There’s a fragrance to you, Teddy Bear. A human hand, a ripened pear. Your plastic boots that hold no smell, how they beat against my skin. I hold you in my aging hand and drop you down into the trash. Feeling like I should be sad, I drop you down into the trash. There is fingers in everything.
4.
She said only write poems in the morning or on the train, places where the light is new or weird. In the horizontal haze or the too-bright of the car, places where you find yourself alone – with the ever-present threat of interruption, the swinging doors, the next stop, chimes, and footfalls. Places where the light is new or weird. Refracted through your window image. Refracted through the greasy forehead spots of those who sat before you – the dread, the chill, the eagerness. These are Lonely Deer’s interruptions. We’ve filled ourselves up with enough instructions. Don’t be afraid of anything. Don’t be afraid to blow kisses into the sky. Futility and madness are endearing here. We will always come back to each other. We will always come back to each other.
5.
You're a really good secret You've got exposure You can hang from the rafters and no one can see your shit You're a really good secret You keep it hidden Like a tomb Like a lover You're a really good secret You've got words that sparkle and eyes that drizzle right down to your lips You're a really good secret You've got a temperament Like a bomb Like a flower Come now, there's a secret chamber Come now, there's some dewy grass Come now, there's everything you wanted Come now, come now, come now

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released April 29, 2019

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Lonely Deer Toronto, Ontario

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